BDSM and humiliation

The collar is a bdsm symbol of submission and control. A game of humiliation.

You may have been taught that sex is dirty and shameful, and that people who enjoy sex and embrace their sexual side are bad, perverted and disgusting. That’s why words like “slut” are used as insults. But when you’re having sex with someone, then we enjoy sex and consider it a good thing. Take a word that often carries a negative charge, apply it in a sexual context with someone you trust and wait to discover its liberating power… It’s a way of shouting to the world Here I am, I’m a sexual person, and that’s good!”

Humiliation play is one of the most exciting sides of BDSM, but often leads to confusion. In general, this is any activity in which a person says or does something that provokes a feeling of shame or humiliation. This can be as simple as using terms like “whore” or “slut” to refer to your partner, or it can be more complicated like creating a situation that embarrasses them, such as exposing their naked body to others or walking them around on a collar and leash.

Since everyone has a different range of emotional triggers, it will be the duty of the dominant party to find out what their partner’s is and how far they should take it. For example, there are some people who are very embarrassed to be naked in public and there are others who are not. What is humiliating for some may not cause any reaction in others. Keep in mind that humiliation games are about the feelings they produce, not the activity itself.

In all cultures and there are displays of the power of humiliation in sex games. Of course Japanese hentai is no exception.

Developing intimacy

In BDSM, playing humiliation games can be a vehicle for developing deep emotional intimacy, due to the emotional vulnerability it provokes.

Certainly, when we agree to a game of humiliation with our partner, the receiving party is exposed in an emotional way. We expose not only our body by allowing ourselves to be spanked, but also our mind.

In this way, we are stripped of any emotional defense mechanism, being totally defenseless and exposed in that context. For some people, experiencing this gives them a feeling of absolute freedom and trust in their partner.

The emotional intimacy it provokes is very pleasant and exciting for the people who practice it, although it is often difficult to perform this type of games with an occasional person or with whom we do not feel too much affinity. That is why it is better to practice it with a playmate you trust and, above all, respect.

Ideas for BDSM humiliation games

Not everyone interested in BDSM is necessarily attracted to practices that involve humiliation. If you think you might enjoy experimenting, be sure to do so while respecting your playmate’s boundaries.

Here you will find a number of more complex ideas that may (or may not) make your sex life more interesting and varied, enjoy trying new things and if you decide after all this is not for you, so be it!

Erotic lingerie is a way of trying to seduce our partners and submit ourselves as an object to their will.

• Create a human sex doll (or doll!): A way to get into domination with humiliation. The premise is simple: your partner is a living sex toy, which allows you to put yourself in any position the dominant desires with complete passivity. The submissive simply remains in whatever position the dominant places him in and does not take an active role in any way.
• Tie and expose your partner. Starting from the above idea consists of tying the submissive in a sexually available position and exploring her body in a humiliating and/or painful way (for example, probing the submissive’s orifices with dildos, anal plugs or even CB if she is a boy). During the process the submissive will be forbidden to make any sound or respond in any way whatsoever (Except the safe word!). Of course, failure to remain completely passive will earn a punishment.

• It creates conditioners: The human brain learns and creates associations of ideas. You can take advantage of this to get great sexual fun. For example, you can train your partner to desire something that he or she would not normally want. Choosesomething that is within your partner’s limits, but that he would not normally want, something humiliating that you could use as a good punishment. Take your time to describe to him exactly what you are going to do to him and how it will feel as you feelhim squirm. Then explain that you’re not going to do it until she asks for it, and in a convincing way. But don’t give it to her right away, rather tell her to beg for it. Just asking for it will make him want it madly, even if he didn’t want it at all in the first place!
• Be a security guard: For this idea you will need to recreate a simple scenario: the dominant is a security guard, and the submissive has committed some infraction. The security guard confronts the offender and takes him to the security room, where the offender is subjected to a humiliating inspection. At this point, wishing to avoid a night in jail, the offender does as the security guard instructs.
• Turn your partner into a pony: Pony play is a variant of pet play in BDSM. Basically, the submissive is degraded to the treatment of an animal, and you can recreate a scene more or less elaborate around the purchase of the pony, such as checking teeth and genitals, teaching and learning new tricks like galloping with the help of a rod… you can also tie him to his place of a foot or even a nipple. These games can be complemented with a gag to act as a bit, a rope for the reins and a hitching post.

Finally, remember that both verbal and physical humiliation can be a lot of fun, although you should be aware of how far you are capable of going. It is important to maintain a safe and consensual environment. It is best to have a small talk that establishes some boundaries, as well as what terms can and cannot be used. Humiliation may not be your thing if you don’t possess sufficient self-esteem or mental strength. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to experiment, just that it’s not your thing or that it will come later.

For many people, humiliation provokes a very visceral type of reaction on both sides that, in the right environment, will lead to an immediate and very pleasurable sexual response. Of course, the people involved are aware that this is a consensual game in which the emotional response of shame is real, but it does not affect their actual self-esteem.