BDSM: From fantasy to reality

Human sexuality is wonderfully complex. In the right context, strong emotions are immediately converted into sexual arousal. That is why we try to find fantasies and to generate erotic situations that lead to a much more lustful sexuality.

A well-conducted BDSM session can create strong emotional responses, which can be highly arousing.

Exploring new sexual practices is fun. Adrenaline, nerves, tingling in the stomach? At the beginning we may feel insecure, but we should not be afraid of making mistakes (although it is important to play it safe!). It may even happen that when trying an idea that seemed exciting we discover that it doesn’t work as well as we thought; don’t give up. Try a new approach or explore other ways of doing it.

When we have a fantasy is because the erotic seed is planted, we just have to let it bloom.

The first step to bring our fantasies to reality is, above all, self-confidence, so do not forget that everything is part of a game to have fun, share fantasies and build a more exciting and dynamic sex life.

If you have read about BDSM and want to put it into practice, it is important to create the right environment. Here are some tips practical to introduce the art of domination and submission in our sexual games.

Where to start…

Like everything in life, it starts from simplicity. Sex in general and BDSM in particular is a skill that is acquired through practice.

First, try to understand what practices turn you and your playmate on. Having a discussion about your fantasies is a good place to start, no matter how many of those fantasies you are willing to engage in. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to share them, even sharing extreme fantasies that you would never be willing to act out can serve as a source of inspiration for new ideas.

For example, if your partner has a fantasy of being tied up, you can start with a mild bondage such as Wrist and Ankle Cuffs and later on, you may find that you want to go further and try something more restrictive.

How do we bring these fantasies into reality?

Choose a time when you have time to fully dedicate to each other. This is the ideal time to prepare for the session (e.g., if your partner likes to experiment with pain, a flogger is a perfect option to get started).

Once everything is ready, it’s time to get started. If you are the dominant party, you can ask your partner to perform basic and simple tasks for you. For example, you can start by ordering him to undress, while giving him detailed and specific instructions on how to do it.

On the other hand, if you’re turned on by the struggle, you can surprise your partner when he enters the room by tearing his clothes off while whispering what you’re going to do to him.

Okay, I have the motivation, but I need ideas….

If you still need more ideas, here are some suggestions to let your imagination flow:

If you want to explore bondage, the easiest and simplest way is with synthetic cotton or nylon ropes. Although starting with cloth scarves or nylon stockings may seem like a good idea, the truth is that they tend to become a bundle and are difficult to untie. You can tie your partner to the bed, to a chair, or simply bring your hands behind your back. Having sex with a tied person is fun, but you will make it much more exciting if you also play with different sensations by taking advantage of their fragility. You can start slowly by running your hands around the body (masks will help to make this experience more interesting). Little by little, you can add more intensity. Pinch, pull, or twist her nipples, decorate them with some nice clamps… run your nails around her body, bite sensually, use toys with vibration…

For introduction to pain practices, spanking is a good way to start. You can place your partner on your lap and spank her with her hands, a paddle, or even a wooden spoon. Start with light, quick strokes, and gradually increase the force until you find her limit. Ask her how comfortable she is with the intensity and proceed accordingly. It is important to listen and watch for reactions.

Try giving him commands that turn you on or turn him on. For example, do you like to watch him masturbate? (and who doesn’t?). Tell him to touch himself while you watch, being as detailed as you want as to how to do it, speed, intensity….

Surprise is the key to success. You can call your partner while he or she is at work and order him or her to take off his or her underwear, for example. You can also send him a to-do list for when you get home. If you’ve been talking about trying something new, surprise him with a new toy and a note on the bed.

If you run out of ideas, you can always give a twist to things you’ve done before, for example, by adding wax play, gags, etc. Combining simple ideas will give endless possibilities, and changing orders will always keep sexual encounters fresh and exciting.

And remember…

It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s part of the game and it’s advisable to check what works and what doesn’t work. It’s good to talk to your partner, ask questions, and evaluate new possibilities.